Interview – Swear Bear-Crazy Bastards
----You've been forwarned. Don't let the "teddy bear" title fool you. This interview isn't for the tight tounged! ----
Arize: Fuck you!!!
Only when my girlfriends not around.
Arize: Kiss my ass!!
Not before you buy me a drink cheapskate.
Arize: So whos behind all this?
Me, Mr. Bigglesworth, the Fonze, and that creepy guy from Raiders of the Lost Arch.
Arize: Ok ok let me stop…So what gave you the balls to come out with this crazy idea to start your own bear line?
Well, I was home one day, hi off jenkem and acid tabs, and it actually came to me in one of my many in depth hallucinations.
Arize: Oh ok, so I guess the Build-A-Bear at the malls can shove it?! Lol….Wouldn’t it be funny if somehow one of your bears got accidentally put in there?
Lol No it would not, I wouldn’t want one of my swear bears to be mixed in with those pansy ass excuses for a plush toy.
Arize: That PMS bear seems so sweet!! OH crap nevermind!! Lol…Whats the craziest respond you ever got from one of your bears?
My cousin Cliff from Arkansas wanted me to construct a custom made boobjob bear equipped with a custom fitted fuck hole.
Arize: Uhhh Ok....weird...and gross.
Arize: I’d have to say I gravitate more to the vinyl action figures because they’re so freakin cute! Plus you can customize em! So you guys do vinyl bears and regular plush bears?
First off, I could give two shits what you gravitate to. We make whatever the fuck we want to make, we are the builders of buildings, and we are the dreamers of dreams. And we do make vinyl dick snot, learn your facts smutzy.
Arize: Wow, temper temper! Geezzz
Arize: I can’t imagine what goes on in the mind of the SwearBear team…So tell me what happens when you all have an idea for a new bear…What are the steps involved to get it done and in the hands of the public?
Well, first we take a cold shower together, and share are ideas while washing eachothers back. Then we sit in a circle and tug on eachother while we pass around a phat blunt of the stinkyist stank around.
Arize: It was cool until you said cold shower, and washing each others back, oh, and the tug, yea...its pretty much all bad...
Arize: Well, I can see why the bears are so crazy! So whats in the future for SwearBears? Naw nevermind I’d rather be shocked and laugh hysterically at the next bear!!
Thanks for sitting down with us… Thanks for having us, and next time you invite us to this shanty town, make sure the mini bar is fully stocked, and not so half assed. Links: